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Monday, February 4, 2013

GOVERNMENT SAFE FOOTBALL

Our President, Bob Costas, and other sages of our age have determined that football is a dangerous sport. Obviously, if there is a crisis, only the federal government can provide a remedy.

Given the outstanding efficiency our government has achieved with it's postal, railway, education, and health care (to name a few) systems, shouldn't we expect government run football to be safer ? 

Certainly setting up congressional hearings, blue star panels, and committees will speed us to a day of safe football. Perhaps, football can be made a touch only sport where both teams are always victorious and a Nerf ball is used. Game disputes would be settled by on field union representatives for the players, referees, and fans.

Oh what a glorious age we live in with all the good our wonderful government sends our way ! As the feds make football safer maybe they could probe the horrible dangers of soccer, badminton, sports car racing, church bingo, and horseshoe tossing.     

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